I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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