Me. At least after what I've been through.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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