Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize