I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
