If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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