You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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