The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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