Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
