Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
