I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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