i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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