I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dignity is for republicans.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
