Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
