but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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