he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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