I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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