When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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