i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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