I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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