He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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