Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Never joke about your clitoris.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
