Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
