It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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