Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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