She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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