i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
