when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
