he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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