i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
