Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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