the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
