she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
