I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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