Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
