I didn't shave. On purpose
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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