what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Enjoy the penises
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
