Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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