OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
