I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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