the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
