allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
