found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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