Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize