he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize