I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
