He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
