so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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