is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
