I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
