I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
