I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
