you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
