Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
