.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize