you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize