South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
handjob tips. give me some.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
third nipple confirmed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
