i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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