im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
