I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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