Having a random hookup so left but love u
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
