A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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