I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
